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By Casey Grey

How To Squash Your Kid's Dreams

12/16/2019

 
Being a parent is one of the most challenging and most rewarding things in life. As a parent, if you are conscious of your kids actions, you will realize that your kids simply mirror back their environments. If you are a big part of their environments (which I'm assuming you are) you will see that they have the same habits as you (good and bad).

Seeing how Christmas is less than 10 days away and the magic is in the air, I figured it was time for another post similar to How To Keep Your Wife Unhappy and How To Feel Terrible All The Time.

Here's some tips on how to squash your kid's dreams:
  • Tell them Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny do not exist as early as possible.
  • Tell them they will never amount to anything.
  • Tell them they are not smart enough.
  • Correct their mistakes all the time.
  • If they can't do something to your standard, do it for them.
  • When they tell you what they want to be when they are older, tell them it's not possible.
  • When they do something for the first time, tell them it could be better.
  • When they ask if they are getting taller, say no.
  • When they ask if they are fat, say yes.
  • When they are proud of a gift they made you, do not appreciate it in any way.
  • When they ask you a million questions before bed, don't answer any of them.
  • Make them learn how YOU want them to learn, not how they learn best.
  • Have them focus on their weaknesses, not their strengths.
  • Have them watch lots of negative TV.
  • Do not let their imaginations run wild.
  • Hug and kiss them as little as possible.
  • Do not console them when they are crying.
  • Do not tickle them or make them laugh.
  • Have them stay up in their head and don't listen to their body.
  • Most importantly, "Because I said so!" is the best reason in the book.

Come to think about it... Are we doing these things to ourselves subconsciously?
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