By Casey Grey
Some things are easy to measure and track.
If you have decided to begin playing the piano, it's easy to see your progress. If you play baseball, it's easy to follow your stats and see the areas that are changing. If you lift weights, it's easy to track if you are getting stronger. If you invest your money, you can see it go up and down.
But what about things like your emotional strength? Or your parenting skills? Or your character? Or your leadership skills? Or your relationship with your spouse.
Often, the things that are most important are the hardest to track and since we can't track them we don't give them the attention they need.
Tracking is important, especially in business, but it's not everything.
How do you see the world?
Do you believe people are nice and that the world is a good place or do you see destruction and all the evil in the world?
Do you believe kids are the greatest joy in the world or a nuisance because they make too much noise and wreck your front lawn?
Do you see opportunities all around the world or problems that are too big to solve?
Do you travel through the world struggling at every turn or having fun like it's a game?
We don't see the world as it is. We see the world how we are.
If you want to change the world, change yourself.
How do you define success?
All of the above?
Is success something you get or something you feel?
If other people believe your are successful, does that make you successful?
The ONLY way you will ever FEEL successful is if you are fulfilled and the only way to be fulfilled is to do what you want to do.
Happy Monday! I hope you're doing what you love. If you're not, I hope you're putting a plan into place to make it happen. If you're not, that's on you...
As a parent, I believe it's important for my son to learn how to lose.
Losing is not bad thing. A loss is not a failure.
A loss is an opportunity to learn.
In my experience of life, every loss I have had has taught me something. Whether it's a lesson about some "thing" or a lesson about who I am, a loss always makes me better.
My wins, on the other hand, do not always teach me something. Not because there's not a lesson, but because I feel as though I did everything right. What more is there to learn? This can be deceiving. That is why the losses are so important.
In sports, you could win because of a bad call. If you don't realize that, what could you be missing? Life is the same.
Perhaps what you thought was working, is no longer working. Or perhaps you got lazy. Or perhaps the game has changed.
The loss will help you realign.
If you are concerned about your kid "losing", don't be surprised if your kid becomes afraid of losing when he's older (and in turn, afraid to take the risks that are required for a fulfilled life).
I should eat healthier.
I should go to the gym more.
I should watch less TV.
I should work less.
I should spend more time with my kids.
I should. I should. I should.
Stop guilt-tripping yourself! Stop "shoulding" all over yourself! It's not helping you.
Is it motivating you to change?
I would venture to say that it's not. I bet it's only making you feel like shit.
How about you compliment yourself instead? Acknowledge yourself for all the great you did.
It's a lot easier to build on a solid foundation than one that has been broken down over the years.
And if the foundation is broken down, it will take some time to repair it. The sooner you start, the better.
Would you talk to your child the way you talk to yourself in your mind? Deep down, we're all just kids looking to be acknowledged.
P.S. If you have young kids, you are building their foundation right now.
I always do that.
I never do that.
Everyone is doing it.
No one is buying it.
It happens every time.
Everything is going wrong.
Always, never, everyone, no one, every time and everything are rarely correct (notice I did not say never correct). They are all-or-nothing words.
The words we use are powerful. Both for the people who hear them as well as our subconscious minds.
Is it true that you always screw up?
Is it true that you never make a mistake?
Is it true that everyone is on social media?
Is it true that no one is buying your product or service?
Is it true that your kids push back every time you ask them to do their chores?
Is it true that everything is going wrong?
Be careful what you say to others and what you tell yourself. If you say the lie enough, you may just end up believing it.
Do you think you're stupid or do you think you're a genius?
Do you think you're weak or do you think you're strong?
Do you think you're a terrible parent or do you think you're the greatest parent of all time?
Do you think you're a terrible spouse or do you think you're a terrific spouse.
Do you think you're sick or do you think you're healthy.
Do you think you're a follower or do you think you're a leader?
Do you think you're disconnected or do you think you're connected?
Do you think you're tired or do you think you're full of energy?
It's true, you are what you think...
But only if you believe it.
It’s important to understand.
Only when we understand a person are we truly able to serve them.
Only when we understand some “thing” are we truly able to use it to it’s fullest capability.
It you want to serve somebody, you need to understand them.
If you want to use some “thing” to its fullest capability, you need to understand it.
But in order to understand, you need to stop judging.
When you judge something or someone, you are no longer seeking to understand. Your mind will be seeking to prove it’s judgement.
That goes for understanding yourself as well. Stop judging yourself and start understanding yourself instead. Then you will create amazing change.
On January 8 of 2019 I committed to a Daily Blog and I kept that commitment. 365 days of a posting a blog every single day!
Not only have I kept it but I will continue to write every day. I will commit to another year and I suspect it will continue on after that.
But that’s not my commitment for 2020...
Today, January 8, 2020, I am committing to something new...
I’m committing to a daily podcast.
I will make sure that everyday you will hear my voice (if you choose to subscribe to Lean In with Casey Grey).
Just like when I committed to writing daily, I am doing this because I want to be better than I was yesterday (or in this case, last year). I want to become a better speaker and storyteller so that I can help people find that inspiration inside of them and release it!
I said it last year and I’ll say it again. New Year's Resolutions are useless unless you are committed.
What are you going to commit to today?
Perfectionism is often frowned upon. To be a perfectionist is to be too picky or too hard on others or yourself.
But what is a perfectionist? I believe that being a perfectionist is having high standards for whatever you create and put out into the world. To make it right in your eyes.
And perfect is just a matter of opinion. It's different for everybody.
We're all perfect in our own way and we need to own our perfection!
The picture below is something my son made for me. Something I can read every morning when I wake up.
To me, it's perfect.