How To Feel Terrible All The Time

• Sleep in.
• Don't smile.
• Never laugh.
• Don't exercise.
• Don't climb trees.
• Never travel.
• Sit a lot.
• Don't listen to music
  
• Avoid dancing.
• Don't sing in the shower.
• Watch lots of TV.
  
• Watch the news.
• Drink too much alcohol.
• Smoke.
• Eat shitty food.
• Spend lots of time alone.
• Don't do anything for anybody.
• Work at a job that you hate.
• Don't pet animals.
• Avoid the sun (actually avoid nature all together).
• Spend lots of time indoors.
• Stay home all the time.
• Yell at kids who are having fun.
• Drag everybody down with you.
• Talk badly about people behind their back.
• Don't have sex.
• Never try anything new.
• Avoid anything that challenges you or your beliefs.
• Spend all of your money on yourself.
• Blame others for all the bad stuff in your life.
• Make up lots of excuses for why it's not your fault.

Lastly, and probably the most important thing of all...

DO NOT follow your dreams. Keep them bottled up. Don't share them with anybody. Bring them to the grave with you.