The Gift of Pain

I've been through my fair share of painful experiences throughout these first short years on this earth. I know there are people out there who have experienced many worse things than I have but I also know my experiences are worse than others.

One of the reasons I have, and continue to, experience pain is because I'm not afraid to put myself into situations where pain is a possibility. Most people spend their life trying to avoid pain. I can't say that I welcome pain but I do accept it. It's a part of life.

On the relationship side, my wife and I have been through our ups and downs. It's hard to measure problems in a relationship but I can tell you we've had our moments where we've thought about moving on. We're just humans having a human experience. The good news is that after almost 14 years of being together, we're stronger than ever because of these experiences.

On the parenting side, it's similar. I can tell you I have a huge amount of respect for single parents now. The tests that our son put us through are some of the greatest teachings. There are multiple days where I question my ability as a parent. Now, those days become fewer and fewer.

On the business side, same thing. The last 9 years have been a rollercoaster. I've had employee problems, "interesting" clients, been through a 4 year lawsuit, problems that flowed into my relationship and have lost tens of thousands of dollars.

Even after everything, I believe painful experiences are a gift.

If I had not gone through what I've gone through, my relationship would not be as strong as it is today, my parenting skills would not be where they are today, my business would not be where it is today and, most importantly, I would not be the man I am today.

Do I have more things to work on in my relationship? Yes! We will always be growing together.

Are there things I can work on as a parent? Absolutely! Everyday is a new test.

Are there things to improve in the businesses? Hell yes! Change is inevitable and I need to stay on top of it.

There will never be a day in history where pain is not experienced somewhere. Pain is not a bad thing unless you label it that way. Pain can create massive change. Unfortunately it often takes massive pain for somebody to make that change or realize there's a problem.

The question becomes, what are you going to do with that pain? Are you going to let it ruin your relationship? Your business? Your life? Or are you going to learn from it and take yourself to the next level?

As Bill Gates says, "Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't loose."