By Casey Grey
Have you been holding onto something from the past?
Perhaps you have not forgiven an ex for hurting you. Or maybe you are still angry at a business partner who stole from you. Maybe you're involved in a ridiculous lawsuit right now or have been through one in the past. Did you get into an argument with a sibling or parent and now you never talk? Or maybe a best friend? Maybe it's a co-worker you are not getting along with.
I've been through all of the above and what I have learned is that there is no point in holding onto that pain. Whatever it is, it's taking up valuable space in your head and preventing you from living to the best of your ability.
Suzanne Somers said "Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself."
Maya Angelou said "It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody."
Lewis B. Smedes said "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."
Mahatma Gandhi said "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
After cleaning my desk yesterday, I came across a check that was suppose to pay off a loan I had given somebody. The check had bounced because it came from a bank account that had been closed. Essentially I was tricked into lending this person $4,000 and then I never heard from him again.
I had been keeping this check on my desk because I wanted to make sure I got the money back. I was going to find him and make sure he paid me. What he did was illegal!
But when I came across this check again, I looked at the date for the first time in a long time. It was from 2012...
This had been taking up space in my head for 7 years!
I decided then and there that it was enough. Time to free up space in my head so that I can focus on people who deserve my headspace and things that will actually make me money.
Into the shredder than check went.
And now I'm free!!!
"If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?"
I've been pondering this quote...
What if it's the wrong question?
What if we replaced the word 'empty' with 'organized' or 'clear'?
Personally I would much rather have an organized mind or a clear mind.
Although an empty mind may not be a bad thing either.
That would mean that there is room to fill it up with new empowering beliefs.
So I organized my desk this morning...
On January 8 of 2019 I committed to a Daily Blog and I kept that commitment. 365 days of a posting a blog every single day!
Not only have I kept it but I will continue to write every day. I will commit to another year and I suspect it will continue on after that.
But that’s not my commitment for 2020...
Today, January 8, 2020, I am committing to something new...
I’m committing to a daily podcast.
I will make sure that everyday you will hear my voice (if you choose to subscribe to Lean In with Casey Grey).
Just like when I committed to writing daily, I am doing this because I want to be better than I was yesterday (or in this case, last year). I want to become a better speaker and storyteller so that I can help people find that inspiration inside of them and release it!
I said it last year and I’ll say it again. New Year's Resolutions are useless unless you are committed.
What are you going to commit to today?
Where are you looking for inspiration?
Do you look for things to listen or watch like podcasts and documentaries?
Perhaps you escape to a cottage in the middle of nowhere?
Or maybe you find it at the gym or in the shower.
Inspiration is not something that is found on the outside. It's within us all.
Notice that all the things listed above are things that allow us to breathe and take time for ourselves.
It's amazing what will come when you take the time to just be and breathe.
Supply and demand is easily understood. If you want to increase the supply, you need to increase the demand. When the demand increases, the supply will naturally increase. It has to.
Why not apply this to our lives?
If you want to increase the supply of love, wealth, energy, health, vitality, enjoyment, fulfillment or anything else, you simply need to increase the demand.
Where you place that demand is of great importance though. You must demand it from the source.
That source is you.
You are the only source who can supply whatever it is you want more of. Take responsibility, raise your standards and go after your dreams.
(That's how I ended up with these two.)
When we see somebody who is really good at what they do, it's easy to think to ourselves that it would be nice to be that good.
What we see is only the highlights though.
We don't see the hours, days, months and years of work that went into that person becoming who they are. We don't see what they sacrificed and the level of commitment they had. We don't see the blood, sweat and tears shed throughout those years (or even in the present moment).
We only see the fraction of a percent of what they actually do.
Are some people naturally talented? Absolutely! But that does not mean they don't work their asses off to turn that good talent into great talent.
Is there something you really want? How badly do you want it? Are you willing to put in the work to make it happen? Are you committed? Are you determined to make it happen no matter what?
If you're not willing to put in the work, don't expect to be the greatest.
Perfectionism is often frowned upon. To be a perfectionist is to be too picky or too hard on others or yourself.
But what is a perfectionist? I believe that being a perfectionist is having high standards for whatever you create and put out into the world. To make it right in your eyes.
And perfect is just a matter of opinion. It's different for everybody.
We're all perfect in our own way and we need to own our perfection!
The picture below is something my son made for me. Something I can read every morning when I wake up.
To me, it's perfect.
How often do you go out and look for feedback?
How often do you ask for feedback?
Do you only ask when you know it's going to be positive or are you open to the negative?
In reality we're constantly getting feedback.
We get feedback from our bodies in terms of how we feel. If we're fat, that's an obvious sign that we're not eating healthy. If we feel sluggish or have a foggy brain, that could be a sign of lack of sleep or also not eating healthy. If we have have pain in our joints, that could also be related to food or lack of exercise. If we feel anxious, perhaps it's a sign that we need to get something off our mind. Whatever it is, it's up to you to listen to the feedback and do something about it.
We get signs from our kids. They are sponges and products of their environments. If my son starts to be rude, get frustrated or show any signs of inappropriate behavior, the first place I look to is myself. Did he learn this from me? If so, it's a sign I need to change. If it's not me, perhaps it's a sign he needs to be in a different environment. If your kid is hyperactive, perhaps you need to cut back on the sugar he eats. If your kid is showing signs of aggression, perhaps he needs to watch less TV. If your kid is not listening, perhaps she just needs some more attention. Once again this is all useful feedback.
We also get signs in other areas of our lives like our careers, our relationships and our finances. If your career is not going as planned, perhaps you are in the wrong field or working for the wrong company. If your partner is being distant, perhaps they need a little more attention. If you don't have the money you want, perhaps you're spending too much in the wrong places or perhaps you're not delivering enough value. The list goes on...
But it's not all bad. If you have lots of money or your kids are fantastic or your career is going great or you're in the best shape of your life, that means you're doing something right. Figure out what's working and do more of that!
Just don't ignore the other signs.
Keep in mind that it never stops though. Things are changing all the time. It's the natural way.
Be open to feedback and go out looking for it. You will be better because of it.
Birds who are raised in captivity don't know any better. The cage they are raised in ends up being their home, their safe place. If you left the door open to their cage, they would likely not leave and if they do leave they will likely come back.
Unfortunately most of us are also raised in cages but the cage is not a physical cage. It's built in our minds through the environments, experiences and people we have been exposed to.
We don't ask questions because we're afraid of looking dumb. We don't go after our dreams because we're afraid we might fail. We don't ask that special person out on a date because we're afraid of rejection. We focus on the negative and ignore the positive. We do things that are comfortable and we stay in our cage (and then we complain about it).
Little do we know, the door to the cage is open. There's a whole world out there just waiting for us. All we need to do is take the leap and fly.
Will it be easy? No.
Will it be scary? Yes.
Will we get hurt? Definitely.
But will it be freeing? Hell yes!
You get to choose. Do you want to be safe or do you want to be free?
Have you set your goals for 2020? Do you know what you would like to accomplish and, more importantly, why you want to accomplish them?
It's easy to set goals and not realize why you want them in the first place. This is the reason most people do not accomplish their goals. They don't have the fuel behind them. They don't have a strong enough reason that continues to pull them towards their ultimate outcome. They stop at the first stop sign and never hit the gas pedal again.
But that's not necessarily a bad thing. What's the point of pursuing a goal if you don't really know why you want it. That will only lead to disappointment. This is best described in the following way:
"You may be pursuing the symbols of power, instead of power itself. You may be pursuing fame instead of honor, riches instead of wealth, position instead of servitude; in either event you will find that they turn to ashes just as you overtake them." (from "The Master Key System" by Charles F. Haanel)
If you want to be fulfilled by your goals, be clear on what you want and why you want them.