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By Casey Grey
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Is "hard" just a point of view?
Perhaps... Exercising is hard... That's why most people don't do it. Business is hard.... The majority of businesses go out of business in the first year. Marriage is hard... A good portion of people decide to get divorced. Even meditation is hard! If it were easy, more people would be doing it. In theory it's "easy" to sit and do nothing but sit and do nothing for a few hours and let me know how easy it was. From my experience, all of these things make me better every single day and I have learned that nobody ever grows from doing easy things. (More inspiration from Urooj.)
If you look at a lake, everything about it is the result of what's in it and what's around it. If you want to change what the lake looks like, you have to change what goes into it and what surrounds it. Just like a lake, everything you physically see about me is the result of what's inside of me and around me. If I want to change anything about myself, I have to change what goes into my mind, what goes into my body and what and who I surround myself with. Don't expect to change the outside if you are not willing to change the inside. Yesterday was on-and-off rain at Rock Lake in Algonquin Park but it did not prevent us from doing everything we planned.
Cell phone reception was bad so the weather forecast would not load for us. All we did was look up at the sky and make judgement calls. Inthe morning it was a little cooler so we figured we would go for a hike. The skies were not looking promising either so hiking in the morning and canoeing in the afternoon would likely be best. The hike was perfect. Hardly any bugs and we saw glimpses of sun. It got just warm enough to start working up a sweat. The kids hiked 5 of the 6 kilometres partly because we played hide-and-go-seek for 4km. When we got to the lookout, the skies were looking good. It seemed as though we made the right decision. After the hike and after a good lunch, we packed the canoe and headed out to find the rapids where we could slide down the rocks. It’s about an hour to an hour and a half canoe ride depending on how quickly you want to paddle. As we reached our destination, the clouds started to open up and the rain started coming down. We tucked the canoe under some trees along the shore and waited it out for a few minutes but then decided to just finish our last stretch and deal with the rain on foot for now. After a short hike we made it to the rapids. The rain stopped shortly after and the sun came out just long enough to warm us up. The water felt warmer than the air so it was quite nice. The kids had a blast (and so did us big kids). In the distance we could hear thunder. We were not in a great position to deal with a thunder storm but there was nothing we could do other than have fun and continue to have faith that the weather would cooperate with us. Eventually we packed back up and started the canoe trip back. We could see the dark ominous clouds ahead but luckily they were moving across our path and not with our path. About 30 minutes of paddling through some rain was all we had as the kids sang “oh mister sun, sun, mister golden sun, please shine down on meeeeeee..” It was a day to remember to say the least and Urooj had the perfect quote to sum up the day: Luck favours those who have faith. I always have fascinating conversations with my friend, Urooj, and yesterday was no exception.
We were talking about what “perfect” means. Without looking at a dictionary, what is perfect to you? In the past, I have claimed to be a perfectionist. Now, I still demand high quality from myself but I have removed the word perfect. Perfection is subjective. A yard that has been taken over by nature may be perfect to one person. Another person may want a “perfectly manicured” property. I believe that everything is exactly as it’s supposed to be. Each moment is perfect. Especially this one. I got a little defensive last night when my brother/business partner, Chad, started suggesting some things to me with regards to our sales process.
Instances like this are worth reflecting on... Why did I get defensive? Did I feel attacked? Was he pointing something out that I could be doing better? Was I frustrated with the whole situation? Honestly, I think it was all of the above. At the end of the meeting though, it was all smiles and laughs for all of us. We're all on the same team and we're all working towards the same goals. I know he's only asking questions and challenging me to make the company and I better. I think it's important in a business partnership to be able to speak your mind no matter what the reaction of the other person or people will be. Keeping things bottled up will never help. And getting defensive is not necessarily a bad thing... If you never get defensive, perhaps you need more people in your life to challenge you... Opportunities are all around us.
There is no shortage of opportunities to take advantage of. But opportunities are sometimes distractions in disguise. Does the "opportunity" get you closer to your goal? Is it in line with your vision and values? Is it slowing you down or speeding you up? What are the risks compared to the rewards? Proceed with caution towards shiny objects. We, as parents, are responsible for our kids.
If my son is rude, it's my fault. If my son is mean, it's my fault. If my son is violent, it's my fault. If my son is hyped up on sugar, it's my fault. On the flip side, I can take responsibility for all the great things he does as well. The point is that it's not the fault of the friends, the school, the neighbourhood, the TV shows, the food or anything else. It's us, the parents. We have the most influence. We get to choose what our kids eat, say and do. We get to say "yes" or "no" or "great work" or "I'm proud of you" or "we don't do that" or whatever our kids need in the moment. We get to mold these little miracles into beautiful humans. Unfortunately there's no hand book for this stuff.... But I have learned one very important lesson along the way... Kids do what we do, not what we say. In society, I find that it is very easy to become somebody we are not, especially when it comes to business. We act and speak in a way that we feel we "need to" as opposed to who we really are. We do this because we feel we need to in order to "move up the ladder".
This is the same for relationships. We start to adapt and change to who the other person wants us to be instead of staying true to ourselves. We believe it will make them happy. I believe the power lays in figuring out who we really are. Does that mean we should never change? Of course not! If most people think you are an asshole, you may want to consider a change... That being said, you may only be coming off as an asshole because you are not being true to yourself... I believe we all evolve as human beings but what rarely changes is our values. If you act different than who you are at your core, you will never be happy. Stay true to your values and you will find happiness. Would you walk under a ladder?
What do you think when a black cat crosses your path? Have you ever broken a mirror? Do you believe in beginners luck? Do you have a rabbit's foot? Do you "knock on wood"? How do you feel about Friday the 13th? How do you feel about the number 666? How about the number 777? Have you ever found a four leaf clover? Superstitions are fascinating to me. I have had many thoughts of all of the above. But what are they really? They are beliefs. And beliefs are powerful. Yesterday I found a 4 leaf clover. I believe something great is coming my way. Today, Natasha and I have been married for 7 years and together for over 14 years.
It's been an amazing journey but not an easy journey (FYI, we walked down the aisle together to "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey). We have been by each other's side through great times and really hard times. We have been turned on by each other and turned off by each other. We have made each other extremely happy and made each other extremely angry. We have laughed with each other and laughed at each other. We have said things that have lifted each other up and said things that have brought each other down. We have made great decisions together and we have made terrible decisions together. Is our relationship perfect? If a perfect relationship is defined by two people who are committed to loving and supporting each other no matter what happens, then YES, our relationship is perfect. I can honestly say, without a doubt, marrying this woman has been the greatest decision of my life (and not just because she's so damn sexy). Happy Anniversary, Natasha. 14 years ago, in my mind, I committed to you the day we met. 7 years ago, in front of friends and family, I committed to you officially. Today, I'm committing to you over the interwebs. I love you and I will always be by your side, no matter what. |
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