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By Casey Grey
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"There's not enough hours in a day."
I have said this many times. Is that really true? No matter who you are or where you are in the world, we all get 24 hours in a day (with exception to those daylight savings time days, for those technical people). So why is it that some people seem to accomplish more in a day (or a week, or a month or a year) than others? It can't be because they have more time... But we're getting ahead of ourselves. There is a more important question... What is it you would like to accomplish? You can either spend your time trying to keep the filters from getting too dirty or spend your time replacing the filters after.
Similarly, for your mind, you can spend your time avoiding situations that affect your mindset or take the time to clear your mind after. It's up to you to decide where you want to put your efforts in. I don't believe it's one or the other. Life is never black or white. There's value in being diligent but there's also value in being flexible. At my son's 6 year old birthday party, I could have spent my time hosing the kids off before they jumped in and out of the hot tub. Instead, I chose to let them have fun which allowed me to have more fun as well. The filter needed to be changed anyways... Planning is important. It set things in motion.
It tells your brain "this is what I need to accomplish." What I have learned about planning though is that plans rarely go as planned. If you need to get to Toronto from Ottawa, it does not matter how you get there as long as you get there. But you will never get there if you don't start planning. Detours may happen. Traffic may slow you down. The weather may affect your trip. Your kids may need to stop 6 times for bathroom breaks. Many things may happen but you will never be able to predict everything. The key is to be flexible but focused. Flexible enough to adapt when required. Focused enough to make sure you are still heading in the right direction. We like to believe that we make calculated, logical and rational decisions. In reality, they are full of all sorts of emotions.
Why do you buy the Mercedes over the Kia? Why do you buy the electric car over the gas or the diesel car? Why do you buy the $50 purse versus the $500 purse or the $5,000 purse? Why do you live in a condo versus a house or vice versa? Why did you start your business? Why haven't you started your business? Why do you meet in person versus over the phone? Why did you watch the action movie over the love story? Why did you put in the high end kitchen over the Ikea kitchen? Why did you choose the steak over the salad? There are plenty of arguments for each one of these decisions. Does that mean there is a right decision and a wrong decision? If we're honest with ourselves, we will make our decisions and then rationalize them in our own minds. Right or wrong is just a point of view. But keep in mind that a point of view from somebody who has more experience than you may be worth considering. Disagreements are not fun.
Unless you are a lawyer who makes your living on people who have trouble agreeing, it's likely not something you look forward to. But what if you looked at disagreements differently? What if each disagreement was an opportunity? An opportunity to learn. An opportunity to learn about the subject you are disagreeing on as well as an opportunity to learn more about the person you are disagreeing with. Disagreements give you insight, knowledge and wisdom. If everybody agreed all the time, how would that affect our world? I bet we would get bored pretty quickly since we would already know everything and there were be nothing new for us to learn. Relationships do not come without disagreements. If you expect to never disagree with your business partner, your spouse, your kids or your co-workers, you are living in a fantasy world. A fantasy world I would not like to be a part of. The way to measure the quality of a relationship is how it is at the end of the disagreement. Is it stronger or weaker? If you have a relationship that never has a disagreement, you may want to look at it closely. It may not be healthy and you may be missing something quite important... Speaking about disagreements, this weeks podcast episode on Lean In features Tarek Mounib of the newly released documentary, Free Trip To Egypt. The whole basis of the movie is based around disagreements. The episode will be released on Thursday. If you have not subscribed to the podcast yet, you can do so on Apple Podcasts or Google Play Music. What's the reason for giving a gift?
Is it for ourselves or is it for the other person? Everything we do in life is for a feeling. We watch the shows we like because of how they make use feel. We read certain books because of how they make us feel. We may eat certain food because of how it makes us feel. If you smoke, you know it's not good for you but there's a feeling you get when you do it. You exercise (or don't exercise) because of how it makes you feel. Gifts are no different. One of the greatest joys in life is giving gifts and one of the greatest gifts you can give a person is receiving their gift with love and appreciation. I heard a very interesting quote yesterday which got me pondering.
"If you wish to see the truth, hold no opinions." When we have opinions then our point of view will be distorted. We will be looking for things that prove us right and may miss the reality of the situation. Right or wrong is only a point of view. If I asked you if it's wrong to kill a person, you may come back with a quick "yes". But what if that person attacked you and was trying to kill you? Or worse, they were attacking your child or your mother? I know, this is an extreme example but killing a person may end up being "right" in your mind in this situation. But right or wrong has nothing to do with the truth. The truth is reality. Don't let your opinions distort the truth (reality) that is right in front of you. But this is just my opinion... Last night I was at a fireworks display in Quebec City and I looked around to see that dozens of people were recording the fireworks. They were watching the show through their phones and cameras instead of experiencing the real thing.
Why? Will they ever look back on this video? Did they want to share the video with somebody? It got me thinking. Why do we take so many pictures and videos now? If it's because we want to share them, why? And with who do we want to share them with? With loved ones or with the world of the internet? Do the other people even care? If it's because we want to make sure we remember everything, why do we need so many pics and videos? Will we ever go through them all again? Would just a few pics instead of a few hundred spark the memories? We go through life picking up habits and doing things without asking one very important question. A question that every 5 year old knows and says way too much (or perhaps us adults just don't say it enough). Why? When is time considered "wasted"?
Is sitting and reading a book wasting time? What if that book is fiction? Is watching a movie wasting time? What if that movie is a documentary? Is spending time with your kids wasting time? What if you're not present? Is doing research on a large purchase you're thinking of making wasting time? What if you've been doing the research for 2 years? Is driving 45 minutes to work every day wasting time? What if you listen to education podcasts while driving? Is cutting your grass and working on the garden wasting time? What if you enjoy being outside and working on your property? Is spending time on Facebook wasting time? What if you're connecting with family and friends on the other side of the world? Wasting time is just a matter of opinion. As long as you are doing what fulfills you, then it's time well "wasted". When I'm getting out of a parallel parking spot, there's usually two ways to go about it. I can wait for the car in front of me to move or I can go backwards to give myself the space I need to manoeuvre out.
Life is similar. Sometimes in order to move forwards, you need to go backwards. Sometimes you need to borrow money in order to make money. Sometimes you need to give your body a break in order to get stronger. Sometimes you need to clear your mind in order to think better. Sometimes you need to give in order to get. Sometimes you need to let your kid make a mistake so that they can learn for themselves. Whether you are going backwards or going forwards, you are still moving. |
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