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By Casey Grey
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It's not that I don't have enough time to do that "thing" I want or need to do.
Or perhaps somebody asked me to do something and I replied with "I don't have time." Why don't I tell myself the truth? The truth is that it's not a priority. We all have 24 hours in a day. How come some people can get more done than others? I started off the week a little on edge. I was looking at all the items on my To-Do List.
It's easy to get caught up in the To-Do List. It feels good to check things off as well. The thing about the To-Do List is that it's never ending. There will always be more things to do. It's a vicious cycle. We get stressed about all the stuff "need" to do so we start getting things done without a plan. We check the boxes and scratch things off. The more checkmarks, the better we feel. Then the list grows again and we start over. We check off the easy items and forget about the important items. There's one word that changes everything. Why? Why am I doing what I'm doing? What's my purpose? What's my intention? All of a sudden my focus shifts from what to why and then to how. The stress and overwhelm disappears. My appreciation for artists and their work is growing.
Imagine putting something out there in the world that is going to be loved by few, misinterpreted by others, critiqued by many and ignored by most. Come to think about it... Isn't that just life? I often go through my days looking forwards and backwards. I'm looking ahead at what I need to do and backwards to make sure I did not miss anything.
Focusing on these two views is limiting my experience though. I can look up, down, left and right as well. Better yet, I can come to a stop before taking it all in. Nature is a perfect example of this. Plant yourself in a forest for a while. Open your ears, eyes and mind and wait for the magic. What if you approached every conversation as if you were interviewing for a show?
How would your questions change? How would your focus change? How would your thinking change? Would you be more curious? Would you be more engaged? Would you become a better conversationalist? I've been with my wife for almost 15 years and interviewing her for The Conscious Builder Show was like learning for the first time. "How are things?"
"Busy." This seems to be the go-to response these days but I have replaced "busy" with "productive". Although I felt better about this word at first, I'm coming to realize it's not working for me either. I had a great call with my new Pod from M1 last night and we explored this notion of being productive. I started the conversation rambling on about I-don't-know-what and eventually came around to "I feel like I could be more productive." At first this made sense. I know I get a lot done in a day but I'm sure I could push myself to do more. As we continued go around the group sharing our thoughts on this, a simple question popped into my mind. Why do I need to be productive? The point of life is not to be productive. This raised another question. What does being productive mean? Like most people, I've associated being productive with doing stuff. Life is not about doing. It's about being. It's time to change my definition of productive. The other day I was speaking with my wife as she was eating some pitted dates. All of a sudden I saw her make a face which stopped me in mid sentence.
My brain automatically thought she was judging me or reacting negatively to what I was saying. (At this point I can't even remember what I was talking about.) This was a good reminder that it's not always about me. Sometimes people just bite into an unexpected pit. It also reminded me to be conscious of what I'm doing when I'm speaking with people. They're not only listening to my words, they're listening to my tone, watching my body posture and watching my facial expressions. It's the little details that make the big difference. I had a frustrating conversation with my personal bank last night.
I had written a cheque to myself from my business (different bank) and deposited into my personal account through my phone last Friday. The same day I deposited the cheque, the money was removed from my business account. I figured, "Great! That hold that's showing on the personal side should be lifted quickly." I was wrong... By last night, the hold on the cheque was still showing so I called the bank. The first person I spoke with could not help me. The second person I spoke with said some very interesting comments. "Sorry sir. I can't do anything. The cheque will be held for up to 5 business days. It's company policy." I underlined the words in those sentences that stand out to me. First of all, he could do something but he was choosing not to. The money was already in the bank's possession as it was released from my business bank. When I dug into why he could not do this, I realized that he was really just protecting himself from potentially getting in trouble if the cheque were to bounce. He also said that "this policy is in place to protect you and the bank." How does this protect me? Did I mention the money already came out of my business account? Second. The cheque does not need to be held for 5 business days but the bank chooses to exercise this right whenever they want. Because... "This is company policy." That line got my blood boiling. When the individual I was speaking with said this, I cut him off (yes, I know it's rude) and replied with "Does your company policy mention anything about retaining customers of 29 years?" He did not have an answer. Probably because it's not in the policy... If you're going to implement a policy, understand the implications of this. Policies are great, until they're not. Policies force people to think a certain way. Policies kill creativity. Policies put everybody in the same box. In this case, policies lost a long standing customer. Perhaps we should look into guidelines or suggestions instead of policies. I love my family.
On the outside, it's confusing. On the inside, it's perfect. I would not change it for anything. I have four half-brothers and two half-sisters. When my parents were together, they only had me. I never remember them being together so it was "normal" to me growing up. Heck! I received two of everything. Two birthdays. Two Christmases. Two Thanksgivings. Two Easters. Two homes. What's there to complain about as a kid? At one home I was the big brother. At the other, I was the baby brother. I learned to adapt. Now, with the addition of my wife's family, it's even better. Now we get four of everything! Plus we have family all over the place. Life is abundant! Could I put a negative spin on my experiences? Absolutely. But I choose not to. I choose to focus on the positive. It's true that you don't get to choose your family. But you do get to choose who you become. And I know that I would not be the person I am today if it was not for my mom, dad, siblings and extended family. |
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