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By Casey Grey
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How do you define success?
Money? Freedom? Relationships? Health? Spirituality? All of the above? Is success something you get or something you feel? If other people believe your are successful, does that make you successful? The ONLY way you will ever FEEL successful is if you are fulfilled and the only way to be fulfilled is to do what you want to do. Happy Monday! I hope you're doing what you love. If you're not, I hope you're putting a plan into place to make it happen. If you're not, that's on you... I'm guilty of putting more on my plate than I can eat, figuratively speaking. I pack as much as possible into my days, weeks and months and inevitably most things do not get accomplished. But I do get A LOT accomplished and I definitely get the most IMPORTANT things accomplished.
As part of this habit (good or bad is TBD), I often leave things to the last minute and cram everything into a short period of time. This works in a lot of cases (like cramming before an exam) but it only works for "man-made" systems. For things that follow natural law, it will NEVER work. In re-reading the The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I came across the following: "Did you ever consider how ridiculous it would be to try to cram on a farm—to forget to plant in the spring, play all summer and then cram in the fall to bring in the harvest? The farm is a natural system. The price must be paid and the process followed. You always reap what you sow; there is no shortcut." For the most important things in life, the things that follow a natural process, there is no shortcut (or in today's words, there is no hack). Instead of looking for the hack, learn and follow the process. If followed properly, it WILL work and it is much more fulfilling. As a parent, I believe it's important for my son to learn how to lose.
Losing is not bad thing. A loss is not a failure. A loss is an opportunity to learn. In my experience of life, every loss I have had has taught me something. Whether it's a lesson about some "thing" or a lesson about who I am, a loss always makes me better. My wins, on the other hand, do not always teach me something. Not because there's not a lesson, but because I feel as though I did everything right. What more is there to learn? This can be deceiving. That is why the losses are so important. In sports, you could win because of a bad call. If you don't realize that, what could you be missing? Life is the same. Perhaps what you thought was working, is no longer working. Or perhaps you got lazy. Or perhaps the game has changed. The loss will help you realign. If you are concerned about your kid "losing", don't be surprised if your kid becomes afraid of losing when he's older (and in turn, afraid to take the risks that are required for a fulfilled life). You are what you think.
Or are you? I have a lot of "thoughts" come through my mind but I'm NOT my thoughts. Perhaps you are what you think about most. That could be true. The more you think about something, the higher the chance of attracting it into your life. If you often think about being sick, I bet you are sick quite often. If you often think about having lots of money, I bet you have lots of money. On the flip side, if you often think about how you don't have money, I bet you don't have much money. If you often think about being fit, I bet you're in pretty good shape. Whatever it is that you think about most of the time is likely showing itself in your life. Partly because what you think about most, you start to believe. That means you are what you think AND believe. So, if you want to change your life, change what you think about most. Change your beliefs. I should eat healthier.
I should go to the gym more. I should watch less TV. I should work less. I should spend more time with my kids. I should. I should. I should. Stop guilt-tripping yourself! Stop "shoulding" all over yourself! It's not helping you. Is it motivating you to change? I would venture to say that it's not. I bet it's only making you feel like shit. How about you compliment yourself instead? Acknowledge yourself for all the great you did. It's a lot easier to build on a solid foundation than one that has been broken down over the years. And if the foundation is broken down, it will take some time to repair it. The sooner you start, the better. Would you talk to your child the way you talk to yourself in your mind? Deep down, we're all just kids looking to be acknowledged. P.S. If you have young kids, you are building their foundation right now. I always do that.
I never do that. Everyone is doing it. No one is buying it. It happens every time. Everything is going wrong. Always, never, everyone, no one, every time and everything are rarely correct (notice I did not say never correct). They are all-or-nothing words. The words we use are powerful. Both for the people who hear them as well as our subconscious minds. Is it true that you always screw up? Is it true that you never make a mistake? Is it true that everyone is on social media? Is it true that no one is buying your product or service? Is it true that your kids push back every time you ask them to do their chores? Is it true that everything is going wrong? Be careful what you say to others and what you tell yourself. If you say the lie enough, you may just end up believing it. Did the dog bite Johnny or did Johnny bite the dog?
Did you drill the screw or screw the drill? Are you a body with a spirit or a spirit with a body? Same words in a different order gives you a different outcome. Sometimes you don't need to change what you are doing. You just need to change the order in which you do it. Do you think you're stupid or do you think you're a genius?
Do you think you're weak or do you think you're strong? Do you think you're a terrible parent or do you think you're the greatest parent of all time? Do you think you're a terrible spouse or do you think you're a terrific spouse. Do you think you're sick or do you think you're healthy. Do you think you're a follower or do you think you're a leader? Do you think you're disconnected or do you think you're connected? Do you think you're tired or do you think you're full of energy? It's true, you are what you think... But only if you believe it. It’s important to understand.
Only when we understand a person are we truly able to serve them. Only when we understand some “thing” are we truly able to use it to it’s fullest capability. It you want to serve somebody, you need to understand them. If you want to use some “thing” to its fullest capability, you need to understand it. But in order to understand, you need to stop judging. When you judge something or someone, you are no longer seeking to understand. Your mind will be seeking to prove it’s judgement. That goes for understanding yourself as well. Stop judging yourself and start understanding yourself instead. Then you will create amazing change. When I was a kid, my step dad ran his business from our home. I remember coming home from school and regularly having to sit patiently at his desk while he finished a phone call before I could ask him whatever I needed to ask him. It was likely 2 minutes but it seemed like an eternity at that age. Now it feels as though days, weeks and months fly by. Knowing that reminds me to continue to exercise that skill I was learning as a kid. Patience. Easier said than done (just like when I was a kid). I want the nice house, fancy car and regular trips down south now. I want this blog and podcast to help millions of people today. I want The Conscious Builder Show to have millions of subscribers now. I want Younion to have thousands of members benefiting from all the amazing classes and programs now. But we're not there yet. And that's okay. Everything is happening exactly as it's supposed to. The universe is working for me. The universe will give me what I'm ready for. It's my job to make sure I'm prepared. And so the journey (and my training) continues... P.S. Last night we celebrated the journey so far with The Conscious Builder team. Here are some facts/stats from 2019 that I shared with the team to show we ARE making an impact:
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