By Casey Grey
I should eat healthier.
I should go to the gym more.
I should watch less TV.
I should work less.
I should spend more time with my kids.
I should. I should. I should.
Stop guilt-tripping yourself! Stop "shoulding" all over yourself! It's not helping you.
Is it motivating you to change?
I would venture to say that it's not. I bet it's only making you feel like shit.
How about you compliment yourself instead? Acknowledge yourself for all the great you did.
It's a lot easier to build on a solid foundation than one that has been broken down over the years.
And if the foundation is broken down, it will take some time to repair it. The sooner you start, the better.
Would you talk to your child the way you talk to yourself in your mind? Deep down, we're all just kids looking to be acknowledged.
P.S. If you have young kids, you are building their foundation right now.
I always do that.
I never do that.
Everyone is doing it.
No one is buying it.
It happens every time.
Everything is going wrong.
Always, never, everyone, no one, every time and everything are rarely correct (notice I did not say never correct). They are all-or-nothing words.
The words we use are powerful. Both for the people who hear them as well as our subconscious minds.
Is it true that you always screw up?
Is it true that you never make a mistake?
Is it true that everyone is on social media?
Is it true that no one is buying your product or service?
Is it true that your kids push back every time you ask them to do their chores?
Is it true that everything is going wrong?
Be careful what you say to others and what you tell yourself. If you say the lie enough, you may just end up believing it.
Did the dog bite Johnny or did Johnny bite the dog?
Did you drill the screw or screw the drill?
Are you a body with a spirit or a spirit with a body?
Same words in a different order gives you a different outcome.
Sometimes you don't need to change what you are doing. You just need to change the order in which you do it.
Do you think you're stupid or do you think you're a genius?
Do you think you're weak or do you think you're strong?
Do you think you're a terrible parent or do you think you're the greatest parent of all time?
Do you think you're a terrible spouse or do you think you're a terrific spouse.
Do you think you're sick or do you think you're healthy.
Do you think you're a follower or do you think you're a leader?
Do you think you're disconnected or do you think you're connected?
Do you think you're tired or do you think you're full of energy?
It's true, you are what you think...
But only if you believe it.
When I was a kid, my step dad ran his business from our home. I remember coming home from school and regularly having to sit patiently at his desk while he finished a phone call before I could ask him whatever I needed to ask him. It was likely 2 minutes but it seemed like an eternity at that age.
Now it feels as though days, weeks and months fly by. Knowing that reminds me to continue to exercise that skill I was learning as a kid.
Easier said than done (just like when I was a kid).
I want the nice house, fancy car and regular trips down south now. I want this blog and podcast to help millions of people today. I want The Conscious Builder Show to have millions of subscribers now. I want Younion to have thousands of members benefiting from all the amazing classes and programs now.
But we're not there yet.
And that's okay.
Everything is happening exactly as it's supposed to. The universe is working for me. The universe will give me what I'm ready for.
It's my job to make sure I'm prepared.
And so the journey (and my training) continues...
P.S. Last night we celebrated the journey so far with The Conscious Builder team. Here are some facts/stats from 2019 that I shared with the team to show we ARE making an impact:
On January 8 of 2019 I committed to a Daily Blog and I kept that commitment. 365 days of a posting a blog every single day!
Not only have I kept it but I will continue to write every day. I will commit to another year and I suspect it will continue on after that.
But that’s not my commitment for 2020...
Today, January 8, 2020, I am committing to something new...
I’m committing to a daily podcast.
I will make sure that everyday you will hear my voice (if you choose to subscribe to Lean In with Casey Grey).
Just like when I committed to writing daily, I am doing this because I want to be better than I was yesterday (or in this case, last year). I want to become a better speaker and storyteller so that I can help people find that inspiration inside of them and release it!
I said it last year and I’ll say it again. New Year's Resolutions are useless unless you are committed.
What are you going to commit to today?
When we see somebody who is really good at what they do, it's easy to think to ourselves that it would be nice to be that good.
What we see is only the highlights though.
We don't see the hours, days, months and years of work that went into that person becoming who they are. We don't see what they sacrificed and the level of commitment they had. We don't see the blood, sweat and tears shed throughout those years (or even in the present moment).
We only see the fraction of a percent of what they actually do.
Are some people naturally talented? Absolutely! But that does not mean they don't work their asses off to turn that good talent into great talent.
Is there something you really want? How badly do you want it? Are you willing to put in the work to make it happen? Are you committed? Are you determined to make it happen no matter what?
If you're not willing to put in the work, don't expect to be the greatest.
How often do you go out and look for feedback?
How often do you ask for feedback?
Do you only ask when you know it's going to be positive or are you open to the negative?
In reality we're constantly getting feedback.
We get feedback from our bodies in terms of how we feel. If we're fat, that's an obvious sign that we're not eating healthy. If we feel sluggish or have a foggy brain, that could be a sign of lack of sleep or also not eating healthy. If we have have pain in our joints, that could also be related to food or lack of exercise. If we feel anxious, perhaps it's a sign that we need to get something off our mind. Whatever it is, it's up to you to listen to the feedback and do something about it.
We get signs from our kids. They are sponges and products of their environments. If my son starts to be rude, get frustrated or show any signs of inappropriate behavior, the first place I look to is myself. Did he learn this from me? If so, it's a sign I need to change. If it's not me, perhaps it's a sign he needs to be in a different environment. If your kid is hyperactive, perhaps you need to cut back on the sugar he eats. If your kid is showing signs of aggression, perhaps he needs to watch less TV. If your kid is not listening, perhaps she just needs some more attention. Once again this is all useful feedback.
We also get signs in other areas of our lives like our careers, our relationships and our finances. If your career is not going as planned, perhaps you are in the wrong field or working for the wrong company. If your partner is being distant, perhaps they need a little more attention. If you don't have the money you want, perhaps you're spending too much in the wrong places or perhaps you're not delivering enough value. The list goes on...
But it's not all bad. If you have lots of money or your kids are fantastic or your career is going great or you're in the best shape of your life, that means you're doing something right. Figure out what's working and do more of that!
Just don't ignore the other signs.
Keep in mind that it never stops though. Things are changing all the time. It's the natural way.
Be open to feedback and go out looking for it. You will be better because of it.
Birds who are raised in captivity don't know any better. The cage they are raised in ends up being their home, their safe place. If you left the door open to their cage, they would likely not leave and if they do leave they will likely come back.
Unfortunately most of us are also raised in cages but the cage is not a physical cage. It's built in our minds through the environments, experiences and people we have been exposed to.
We don't ask questions because we're afraid of looking dumb. We don't go after our dreams because we're afraid we might fail. We don't ask that special person out on a date because we're afraid of rejection. We focus on the negative and ignore the positive. We do things that are comfortable and we stay in our cage (and then we complain about it).
Little do we know, the door to the cage is open. There's a whole world out there just waiting for us. All we need to do is take the leap and fly.
Will it be easy? No.
Will it be scary? Yes.
Will we get hurt? Definitely.
But will it be freeing? Hell yes!
You get to choose. Do you want to be safe or do you want to be free?
I know I need to eat healthier.
I know I need to exercise more.
I know I need to spend more time with my spouse and kids.
I know I work too much.
I know I need to sleep more.
I know I need to read more.
I know I need to meditate more.
I know I need to quit my job.
I know I need to start this new business.
I know, I know, I know...
Knowing is not enough. You need to take action.
What are you actually going to DO this year? Make 2020 a year of action.
Brian and I are starting the year off with a bunch of recording today. Watch out 2020! Here we come!